Function Health Review (2026): What $365 Buys, Wait Times, and the À La Carte Alternative

Function Health sells one product: an annual membership at $365, charged yearly. The brand's headline is "160+ lab tests annually, tested 2x/year". Read against its What we test page, that works out as:

• Two draws a year at Quest Diagnostics. An annual draw of roughly 115 markers, then a mid-year draw that repeats about 60 of them.
• 116–118 per annual draw, of which 102–103 measured directly and 14–15 calculated (ratios, eGFR and similar derived values).
• A clinician-reviewed write-up of every result with a personalized protocol, plus in-app chat.
• An add-on catalog — MRI/CT scans through Ezra, Galleri, Alzheimer's markers, allergies, PFAS, heavy metals — billed separately.

The base panel is genuinely broad: advanced lipids with particle number and size, omega-3 fatty acids, lead and mercury, a full thyroid set, autoimmunity screens and a urinalysis sit alongside the CMP/CBC/lipid basics. That breadth is the product. Nothing on it is exotic to the lab — every item is an ordinary Quest test with a CPT code — but assembling it yourself one test at a time costs more than $365.

Two clocks run. The first is the lab's: Function says First results typically start arriving within 48 hours of the draw, and because Quest performs the tests, most of the routine chemistry posts inside a few days while specialty markers (heavy metals, omega-3 index) trail by a week or two — the same lab turnaround anyone gets at Quest.

The second clock is the clinician review. Function does not publish a turnaround for the written insights; independent reviewers in 2025–2026 report three to four weeks from draw to a complete plan. If you are deciding between Function and Superpower on speed-to-plan, that is the real difference: Superpower's protocol is generated the moment results land (results in about ten days), while Function's is slower but human-reviewed.

Scheduling is a third, smaller clock. Draws happen at 2,000+ Quest Diagnostics locations; appointments are self-booked and availability is the usual Quest availability for your zip code.

Function suits three kinds of people well:

• The annual-baseline tracker. You want 100+ markers measured every year, with the same list repeated so trends are comparable, and you will read the write-up. Per marker, nothing à la carte matches $365 for that list.
• The person who wants someone else to interpret. A clinician-reviewed summary of every out-of-range result, in plain language, is the part of the product you cannot buy from a lab or from us.
• The add-on buyer. If you are already planning a scan or Galleri, having them inside one account with one record has real convenience value.

It suits these people less well:

• You want a few specific answers. A lipid panel, ApoB, TSH, A1c and vitamin D together cost about $146.95 once at TestWell — a third of the membership — and arrive in days.
• You live in Hawaii, Rhode Island or Puerto Rico (Function is not available there), or in New York or New Jersey, where state fees are charged at the facility on the day of the draw and the amount is not published.
• You want Labcorp. Function draws at Quest only.
• You want to retest one thing in three months. The membership's second draw is a fixed subset six months out; outside it you are buying à la carte anyway.

Here is the arithmetic the membership pages do not show. Every Function marker is a Quest test you can order individually. At TestWell's prices (plus one $6 lab processing fee per order):

What you want	Once, à la carte	Function Health
The four tests a physical orders (CMP, CBC, lipids, TSH)	$49.99 — General Wellness Panel	$365/year for the full list, twice
Heart check: lipid panel + ApoB + hs-CRP	$90.97
Metabolic + nutrients: A1c, fasting insulin, vitamin D, B12, ferritin	About $150
The whole 49-test Total Body Panel	$599.99 — more per marker than the membership

The last row is the honest one: if you truly want a 100-marker list every year, Function (or Superpower at $199) costs less per marker than any à la carte panel, ours included. À la carte wins on targeting — you pay for the ten things you care about and skip the ninety you do not — and on speed, lab choice and the absence of a renewal.

To price your own list against the membership, use the panel builder: pick markers, see the running total next to $365 and $199, and order the set in one checkout if it is cheaper. The full arithmetic — Function's published list mapped to our catalog, what the most-ordered tests cost once, and the breakeven — is in The membership math (2026).

We sell the alternative, so this list is stated without hedging:

• Clinician review of every result with written insights and a personalized protocol.
• Two draws a year inside the price — the mid-year retest tracks ~60 markers.
• Built-in AI chat plus ChatGPT, Claude and Perplexity integrations for your results.
• Deep add-on catalog: MRI and CT scans (Ezra), Galleri, Alzheimer's, allergies, PFAS, heavy metals.
• Advanced lipids (NMR particle number/size), omega-3 fatty acids, lead and mercury in the base panel.

And against Superpower specifically: Function tests more per draw (102–103 measured directly versus 57 measured directly), tests twice a year, and reviews results with a clinician rather than an AI protocol. It costs $166 more and the plan arrives weeks later. The two are compared line by line in Function Health vs Superpower.

Yes, in the sense people mean when they search it: the tests are performed by Quest Diagnostics at CLIA-certified laboratories, orders are authorized by licensed clinicians, the company is a real venture-backed business operating in 48 states, and the membership is HSA/FSA-eligible. The questions worth asking are not about legitimacy but about fit — whether you will use 100+ markers, whether a three-to-four-week plan matters to you, and whether you would rather pay $365 once a year or $30–150 for the specific tests you want.

Two practical cautions apply to every direct-to-consumer panel, Function's and ours included: a wide screen in a healthy person turns up some out-of-range values by chance, and a lab result is not a diagnosis. Take anything flagged to your own clinician.